All My Friends Are on Lexapro
By Sarah Bluett
I’ve been on the generic version of Lexapro for about two and a half years, and I still struggle to pronounce it when people ask for my prescription list. Just me? At the beginning of the summer, discussions about the side effects of SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) started to become more popular on social media. People were discussing SSRIs and the range of side effects, especially in the summer. It felt good to know more about what I was already experiencing (heat and sun sensitivity), and mostly to remind myself I’m not alone.
I started talking about it with one of my friends, and we compared stories around finding the right dosages, navigating a change in sex drive, and experiencing overall apathy. This conversation inspired this piece featuring five of my friends.
In this piece, I ask my friends, who are all emotionally aware, especially hot, and busy this summer, to describe their experience over the last few months being on an SSRI. Whether it’s lamenting about finding the right dosage, determining whether it’s worth it, or dealing with the side effects that come with it, their stories are relatable, funny, and honest.
Friend 1
“For me, there are several downsides to taking 10mg of Lexapro- a lowered sex drive, less lubrication, a general apathetic feeling that follows me around as I try to do my day job. Sometimes I just choose to lay in bed for an extra hour rather than getting to work on time, simply because I can (and haven’t gotten caught yet). But the naps do hit better now, and thinking about a presentation I am giving the next day doesn’t send me into a fight-or-flight panic. I don’t worry as much about what people might think about me and instead find myself thinking “f*ck it” when I think about something that gives me slight social apprehension. I just generally find myself able to enjoy all the moments (or at least a good amount of them) throughout the day, rather than only the ones that come after whatever I’d been anxious about for the past week.
I’m a little over 2 years into taking Lexapro, and some anxiousness has come back. The apathetic feeling is wearing on me, and I sometimes sit there and wonder why it feels more satisfying to sit here and look at the wall instead of working on a boring work project. But I feel more able to address those issues now than I was when anxiety took control before my reason could. I traded some challenges for others, yes, but I feel like I at least have a shield now going into battle, rather than just feeling the panic of being chased.”
Friend 2
“I grew up in a household that definitely had biases against medication, especially for anxiety/depression. The implicit messages were that if you lived a healthy lifestyle, ate well, exercised regularly, etc you shouldn’t need any medication for your mental health. I have had to unlearn a lot of that as I’ve gotten older, and am only just starting my journey with anxiety meds at age 29. It took me so long to realize that even if I am doing everything in my power to make sure my body is healthy, practice mindfulness, etc, my human brain is literally not evolved to function well in the wildly overstimulating world we live in. I finally reached a point recently where my anxiety was so intense, and my OCD behaviors were feeling so paralyzing and out of control that I really had to reckon with my bias (with the help of my therapist). I am nervous to start medication, but I know that I can’t just “power through” on my own anymore, and I’m hoping I can reach a place where I can live alongside my anxiety in a more healthy way, and not be ruled by it.”
Friend 3
“I feel like my relationship to it is interesting because I started taking Lexapro in 2022, and I was like really down bad on the day today and really needed help. I have only ever taken 5 mg, though. Which my doctor has told me is not technically a therapeutic dose. Typically, people take 7 1/2 or 10. I felt like at the time that I first started taking it, the combination of therapy and Lexapro really helped me. Who knows what's actually going on in my brain? I feel like it did help me. Then I feel like my relationship with it over the last several years is like I'm definitely scared to get off it, even though it's such a small dose, and I've thought a lot of times about upping it and taking more and stuff. Not yet, even though I technically am prescribed.
It's funny that you bring this up now, 'cause I have been thinking a lot about my relationship with Lexapro. I feel like I could try to talk about this with my doctor, but I feel like I didn't really give any more clarity. Still, I guess I have this feeling that I'm not sure whether I need more of it and if that would be helpful, or if I need less of it. Actually, I think since I'm on such a low dose, I haven't experienced any of the side effects that folks typically talk about, or maybe that's just how it is in my body… Still, I do sometimes wonder if I'm like not feeling much joy as I did before, like my lows aren't as low, but also my highs are high. But then I'm like, is that just adulthood, and I'm like romanticizing my youth?”
Friend 4
“I, for the record, take Abilify, and I also take Luvox. The Abilify is for my depression, and then my Luvox is for my OCD. I started Abilify, and I've been on it for well over a year now, and I think it's done me wonders. My moods are more stable; one week I was depressed, one week I was anxious, the next week I was just meh. Now I feel like I am more stable when it comes to my moods, and I feel a lot happier on them. When it comes to my OCD med. It definitely made a difference in my day-to-day life, where I felt as though I wasn't waiting for the impending doom to happen. I wasn't waiting for the world to end or for my health to fail, or just like worrying about anything and everything physically possible, which is giving me a chance to kind of relax. My mind was going 1000 mph thinking about all the ‘what if’ scenarios of, you know, what's gonna happen? Is this gonna happen? Is that gonna happen? And those scenarios 99% of the time never happened. So I just feel like it's been a great difference on Luvox. I've only been on it for a few months, and I see such an amazing difference. I love it. I will not go without it. In the summer, so as you know, I’m a nanny, and I'm outside a lot. I feel as though we're outside a lot in the heat, so I've sweated a lot, and it's hard there. I feel as though It's just made my life so much easier, and I've been hot, but I've been managing in this heat.
Also, in addition, I feel as though my emotions are more regulated; I’m better at regulating myself, especially when dealing with a toddler, and they’re unregulated, so it’s definitely made a difference in my work as well.”
Friend 5
“I’m 30, I live in West Philly, and I’m on Sertraline. I think I take 75 milligrams a day…I probably should have been on it a long time ago. I was just like super anxious, and honestly, me and [redacted] were trying to just talk about the future and if we wanted kids, and that would just devolve every time into me being really sad, for like a week. I just…didn’t feel like I could take care of myself. So I was like, how can I take care of someone else?
I went to the doctor and rambled to her for five minutes and cried. She was like, yeah, I think you should be on anxiety meds. And she said something- I forget the exact words, but it’s something to the effect of, it sounds like your anxiety is making you not able to live your life or something like that. Yes, which I had never heard said in such a simple way because I was always like, oh, I did fine in school. I have my job. I’m getting by, I’m anxious, but I’m fine…And I was like, oh, it’s getting in the way of decision-making. I think in the summertime, I spend a lot of time by myself going to pools or something after work or just kind of melancholy. Summertime, I think the heat makes me tired and not want to move, so I get kind of lethargic. I know the lower sex drive is one thing that people talk about and I was afraid of. But I don’t think that is as relevant for me, mostly because I think my anxiety was like a giant deterrent before that… And I think now I’m better able to let that go.”
*Medical Disclaimer: The experiences shared above are candid personal experiences and are not professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Consider reaching out to a hospital or medical provider with any questions you may have.
