Lana, How I Hate Your Instagram Post!
By Reese Carmen Villella
“Ethel Cain hated my Instagram post, think it’s cute reenacting my Chicago pose.”
In an unexpected and deeply unfortunate turn of events for sad girls everywhere, Lana Del Rey and Ethel Cain are beefing.
If you have Twitter, listen to music, or are on SSRIs, I’m sure you’ve seen the feud between Lana Del Rey and Ethel Cain unraveling on your timeline. As a massive fan of both artists, I was initially a bit bummed that they were in a public disagreement. But honestly, I didn’t care all that much about picking sides or boycotting one artist in favor of showing my support for another. Though I adore both women, I do not have a parasocial relationship with them. Plus, I joked on Day 2 of The Fued, my parents are divorced, and I’m still friends with both of them! So, naturally, I decided to get over the drama and enjoy that my timeline was receiving a much-deserved break from news about Taylor Swift’s album, and Taylor Swift’s podcast appearance, and Taylor Swift’s boyfriend in GQ.
But, of course, nothing exists in a vacuum. Both Lana Del Rey and Ethel Cain have fans, enemies, and other celebrities who want to get in on the action. The whole situation has snowballed. But before I get into how Nicki Minaj, Clairo, Azealia Banks (of course), and hell, even Obama have somehow been looped into this, let me take you to the beginning.
Lana for Her 2021 Album, “Blue Banisters”
Elizabeth Grant, who performs under the stage name Lana Del Rey, is a singer-songwriter born in 1985 known for her moody ballads, love songs, and coquettish aesthetic. With nine studio albums, many major artists have cited her as an influence on their artistry, including Billie Eilish, Charli XCX, Selena Gomez, Clairo, Suki Waterhouse, Kali Uchis, and (as much as I hate to say it) Taylor Swift. Even Ethel Cain has cited Lana as an inspiration in her music. An 11-time Grammy nominee with 59 million monthly listeners on Spotify, it’s hard not to be familiar with Lana.
Preacher’s Daughter Album Cover
Hayden Silas Anhedönia, who performs under the stage name Ethel Cain (henceforth Hayden), is a 27-year-old singer-songwriter whose 2022 breakthrough album Preacher’s Daughter catapulted her into indie superstardom, even receiving praise from Barack Obama in his favorite songs of the year roundup. Hayden’s work is very story-driven, her music revolving around a southern gothic storyline about a character named Ethel Cain, rich with lore and worldbuilding.
In what has otherwise been an unremarkable history between the two artists, things took a turn on August 13, 2025, when Lana Del Rey posted a snippet of a new song, an alleged Ethel Cain diss track. The song references the rumored romance between Hayden and Lana Del Rey’s ex, Jack Donoghue. Another lyric references Hayden’s New York Times profile, “Ethel Cain Is the Most Famous Girl at the Waffle House.” The issue? Lana also famously worked at a Waffle House in 2023. Which, of course, raises the question: who is the most famous girl at the Waffle House?
After the video was posted, Hayden posted on her Instagram story that she was blocked by Lana on Instagram. In a natural chain of events, Lana accused Hayden of fatshaming her. Nicki Minaj stepped in to take Lana’s side. Clairo was somehow implicated by liking Lana’s post and was blocked (and later unblocked) by Hayden on Instagram. Azealia Banks, obviously, got in on the action and, surprisingly, played the “both sides” argument, though she has been an outspoken Lana Del Rey hater for years. Azealia, patron saint of Twitter beef, jumped in to defend Hayden, only to follow up by saying Lana is a superior musical artist (specifically, “sis got that pen”) but that Azealia’s 2012 hit 212 is clearing everyone’s discography (why not, I guess?). And somehow, Swifties are yet again making this all about them, insisting Lana’s “diss” was actually subliminal shade toward their queen.
It’s all quite complicated, stupid, and reliant on years’ worth of internet drama, brainrot, and having been there for the whole “question for the culture” thing. Again, while I think there is a time and place for deplatforming, picking sides, and conversations about the artists we choose to support, this just doesn’t feel like one of them. Something else is clearly happening behind the scenes, but what’s more revealing is how fans are reacting and what it exposes about stan culture, parasocial relationships, and yes, our favorite evil triplets: misogyny, fatphobia, and bigotry.
In one viral Tweet, a fan lamented that Ethel Cain fans are “being fatphobic” and Lana Del Rey fans are being transphobic, as if these are categorically similar offenses. Before I start to come across as some sort of undercover proana agent, I would like to state the obvious: body shaming is not okay. Over the pandemic, Lana gained weight, which she lost over the past year or so. Some speculate Ozempic, some speculate dieting, no one really knows because she hasn’t commented on it. But what I know is that it does not matter. Lana released two incredible albums during the pandemic. I don’t care how much she weighed (though she’s always been incredibly beautiful at any weight), I care about the music. I’m so tired of the “FAT LANA” conversation.
This is what they were calling fat, mind you.
Of course, when two women in the entertainment industry disagree, it naturally spirals into a conversation about looks. About who’s chopped and who’s mogging. It’s all so exhausting.
A subset of TERFs in the Lana Del Rey fandom has been attacking Hayden’s looks, misgendering her, and overall insulting her appearance. Again, it pretty much goes without saying and barely matters for the sake of argument, but Hayden is a very beautiful young woman. Her style can lean more androgynous or alternative compared to Lana’s typically feminine looks, but that doesn’t take away from her face card, as the kids call it.
This vitriol does not represent Lana, nor does it reflect the vast majority of her fans. Lana Del Rey is an icon in queer culture. Her music has resonated deeply with gay men, lesbians, and trans listeners for over a decade. The radfems latching onto her name right now are not “Lana’s people”; they’re a small, reactionary subset of assholes trying to twist her artistry into something it was never about. Lana isn’t choosing them, and they don’t speak for the broader fandom.
And here’s where things stop being funny. While fatphobia is absolutely real and harmful, the wave of bigotry aimed at Hayden from TERFs and radfems in Lana’s corner is on another level. These radfems are misgendering, harassing, and weaponizing the feud as an excuse to tear down a trans woman’s existence. Not only is it not okay, it’s a wildly disproportionate reaction compared to an alleged Peter Griffin GIF Hayden might’ve tweeted once upon a time.
Both Lana and Hayden can be wrong, messy, or even shady at times. But acknowledging their flaws doesn’t suddenly open the door for people to project deep-seated transphobia onto Hayden. Holding artists accountable for genuine mistakes is one thing; using a feud as a cover to dehumanize someone because they’re trans is another. At the end of the day, the “who’s the most famous girl at the Waffle House” debate is silly internet drama. But the way people have latched onto it to justify bigotry against Hayden is not. And if you find yourself more pressed about a Peter Griffin meme than a wave of transphobic harassment, maybe it’s time to log off.
