When Did Dating Shows Turn into 'Survivor' (With Benefits)?
By Natalie McCarty
Somewhere along the way, probably around the time contestants started arriving on Love Island already media-trained and blue-checkmarked, dating shows stopped even pretending to be about love. Now they feel so much more like a season of Survivor, but with pettier love triangles and messier alliances. You can literally see the calculation in people’s faces these days, and it’s losing the charm of reality dating. It’s not, “Who do I feel connected to?” or “I’m here for the right reasons.” It’s, “Who do I need to pair up with so I don’t get dumped from the villa and sent home to my normal life?” It’s a strategy. Pure strategy.
Image Courtesy of ABC’s Bachelor in Paradise
The thing is, the show doesn’t even hide it anymore. Most couples now are power plays and switching partners like chess pieces, forming alliances not for chemistry but for survival. Producers lean into it. They’re not trying to sell you a modern-day fairytale, because love is boring to watch. Love doesn’t trend anymore, unless it’s Nicolandria (and even then, do you think they would have been as popular if they’d started coupled off together? This is coming from a #nicolandriastan). But drama? A betrayal? An awkward re-coupling that leaves someone crying in the corner? That’s the content that trends on TikTok and makes it into the recap headlines. So, of course, that’s what they feed us.
Image Courtesy of Peacock’s Love Island
Remember the cake-in-the-ocean fight on Bachelor in Paradise? It was drunken and ridiculous, but it felt real. Or Colton jumping the fence on The Bachelor. Now that’s reality TV! Raw, impulsive, and utterly unforgettable. And Peter Weber’s hometown meltdown, don’t even get me started. The Love Island fights that went viral from Season 6, with couples like Serena and Kordell, were those happy medium moments in between having real drama but also real connection. Those moments had heart. Today? It’s all polished media training. Every contestant prepped to avoid saying something truly controversial. The spark is missing. I’m a publicist, and even I’m begging you to please stop killing your own show with over-rehearsed PR-friendly statements.
And then there’s the “villain edit.” Ugh. I can’t with the villain edit anymore. It’s the easiest way for people to dodge accountability. You can lie to someone’s face, or hook up with someone else five minutes after promising you wouldn’t, and then, when the backlash hits, you just say, “They didn’t show everything. The edit made me look bad.” No. Stop. The cameras didn’t edit your words into your mouth. Producers didn’t CGI that smirk on your face. Yes, I’m looking at you, Cierra! The bombshell from Love Island’s Season 7 is the perfect example, with her off-camera bigotry and xenophobia, zero accountability in and out of the villa, and when it all unravels, she blames “the villain edit.” It’s this weird gaslighting loop where they get to do the thing, then deny the thing, and somehow still come out with more followers. No, Cierra, it’s not the narrative’s fault—only yours!
Image Courtesy of Peacock’s Love Island
So what does all this mean? Dating shows have evolved (or devolved, depending on how you see it) into a game of survival where love is no longer a motivator. Authentic connection has been obliterated, and even punished, as it’s now all about strategy, alliances, and most of all, screen time. The real prize isn’t a relationship; it’s relevance, followers, and the post-show career that follows.
And here’s the kicker: we, the audience, are complicit. We complain about how “fake” it all is, but we keep watching. We obsess over the villains, share the drama, and feed the cycle that rewards chaos over connection. Producers know this, and so the spectacle just keeps getting bigger and more calculated.
Ultimately, I just want to see characters like Hannah Brown or Sean Lowe again, people who felt real, flawed, but honest, not whatever the hell this is now. Give me Nicolandria or give me nothing! Because if surviving the edit is the new love story, then what’s the point of even watching?
Image Courtesy of ABC’s The Bachelor
