If You’re Afraid of Everything, You’ll Accomplish Nothing
By Stella Speridon-Violet
What you want is on the other side of fear.
When I was eight, my parents took me to the park after dusk and threw soccer balls at me for an hour. It wasn’t a punishment. It was to help me become less afraid of the ball for my first game the following afternoon.
That was the first time I remember learning not to fear something I wanted.
We are all born afraid, unsure of the world and what it has to offer. We are sheltered and protected at first, some less and some more. But, eventually, it’s only up to us to live our lives, and while we are told that thought is so freeing, it can be quite overwhelming.
The scariest part of growing up is that fears evolve. We become afraid of rejection, failure, embarrassment, loneliness, making the wrong decision, wasting time, choosing the wrong career, moving to the wrong city, saying yes to the wrong relationship.
Eventually, fear stops looking like fear. It starts looking like hesitation.
You tell yourself you'll travel when you have more money. You'll move after one more year. You'll apply for the job once you have more experience. You'll sign up for the pottery class next month. You'll finally learn another language when life slows down.
Somewhere along the way, waiting begins to feel responsible. But waiting and living are rarely the same thing.
Look at the people you graduated high school with. Some are married. Some have children. Some still live in the same bedroom they grew up in. Some moved across the world. Some have careers they dreamed about when they were sixteen. Some are still trying to figure it out. Some are no longer here at all.
Life has a strange way of reminding us that there isn't one correct timeline. There is only time itself, and it has never once promised to wait for us.
I think curiosity is one of the most underrated qualities a person can have; not because it makes you interesting, but because it keeps you alive.
Curiosity is what convinces someone to book the solo trip they've been talking themselves out of for years. It's what gets someone to enroll in a night class after work, even if they're the oldest or youngest person in the room. It's what makes someone move to a city where they don't know anyone, simply because they want to know who they'll become there.
None of those decisions come without fear.
The point isn't to eliminate fear before you act. The point is realizing fear was never meant to be the deciding vote.
Some of the most meaningful experiences you'll ever have will begin with the sentence, "I've never done this before."
The irony is that we spend years trying to avoid discomfort, even though discomfort is usually standing in front of the exact life we say we want.
You cannot become confident without first feeling awkward; you cannot become independent without first feeling alone.
The older I get, the more I realize courage isn't loud. It isn't quitting your job on a whim or buying a one-way plane ticket because the internet told you to.
It’s usually much quieter. It’s introducing yourself to a girl who has a cool outfit on at the bar in hopes of making a friend. It’s applying for your dream job when you think you have absolutely no shot at getting it. It’s about saying yes to a date with someone who could end up becoming your boyfriend.
I still think about that soccer field sometimes. My parents couldn't promise I wouldn't get hit by the ball during my first game. They couldn't promise I'd suddenly become fearless.
They just knew something I've spent years relearning: the only way to become less afraid of something is to meet it head-on.
The ball still comes flying toward you. The difference is that eventually, you have to face it head-on.
